I've always wanted to do something that would be public, something that would share my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. At first I wanted to start a Youtube channel called "Aye Mira!" I would post videos every Monday, but that idea was shut down by school. After that, I thought maybe an Instagram account would be easier. I would post there, around 3-4 times a week. "Pictures are easy," I figured. But after a while, the pictures and captions became a bit redundant.
I am a Bible-believing Christian. Jesus is my Savior, and God is my King and my Father. That being said, when I would do devotions, I would write them as if I were writing to an audience. I don't know why, but it would just happen naturally. I thought it would be cool if I made them into a book for other people to read. ... I don't think any editor would want to edit my book with all the mistakes inside. So, the other night, I reactivated my Tumblr, thinking, "I'll just do them on here!" But, at least from what I have seen, a blog shouldn't really be on Tumblr.. it should be on a more "sophisticated" website. So, here I am.
I guess I'll tell you a little bit more about myself now, instead of how I got to typing this. I am the oldest of two, just me and my younger brother. Grew up in a Christian household, always went to church, went to Christian schools for most of my educational years. I am going to a Christian university now, and I love it. I kind of have that normal "Christian" testimony. I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was in... first? or second grade at Awana. After that, since I was always in church, or in a Christian school, my faith was never really challenged. That all changed my freshman year of high school.
It's 2009. My first day of high school. I didn't want to go to that school. It was in the suburbs. I'm a city girl, for those of you who don't know me- so, you can imagine.. Anyways, my first three years of school were such a dramatic change from what I was used too. I went from a school that the minority was white, to a school that I was the minority. Not only that, but the kids at my new high school all knew each other since the womb (not really, but it seemed like that). Thus, they all had their cliques. This short new city Mexican girl was not going to fit in. It was here, during these "lonely" three years that I learned to depend on God, run to him when it seemed like I had no one.
God works in cool ways, ya know. Most students wouldn't skip lunch to hang out with their teachers. Most students wouldn't call their teachers their best friends. Most students wouldnt't tell their teachers their struggles unless it had to do with an assignment. I, on the other hand, did all of these things. God blessed me with two amazing, Godly, loving teachers. One was my Algebra and Chemistry teacher (which is funny, because math was my worst subject, and Chemistry.. well.. is mathy-science), and the other was my sophmore literature and anatomy (my FAVORITE CLASS THROUGHOUT HIGH SCHOOL) teacher. I would skip lunch to talk to them. I would use my free periods to just hang out with them. I can't even begin to tell you how God used them, and CONTINUES to use them in my life, how they have helped me stay on the right path, and showed me the love of Christ.
I always struggled with self-value. Always. I never had people tell me that I wasn't good enough, that I wouldn't make anything of myself... I honestly don't know where I got it from, I just ALWAYS had it. My senior year, I was given the BLESSING of being on the student chapel team. What this meant, was that I would give a message on a given Thursday to the student body. This was probably one of the best "take-aways" I have from high school. I can honestly say that I gave it my all, and I gave the messages whole-heartedly. However, whenever I would give a message, or even practice it with the team, I was ALWAYS worried about what people would think, whether they would be affected by it, if they would laugh at my jokes (I think that was my biggest worry...), etc. How could I tell people the value that they have in Christ, when I didn't even know it for myself? That's something one of my teacher-friends told me. "You can't see the value of others, if you can't see your own." That hurt me so much. "So what, I can't help other people just because I don't think good about myself?!?!" I thought to myself.
Warning: this next part is going to sound SO INCREDIBLY CLICHE,
BUT I PROMISE IT HAD A GOOD ENDING.
On March 2nd, 2013 I went to a conference with my church called Finishing With No Regrets. I can honestly say, without a shadow of a doubt, that God used that conference to break down the steel, brick, cement, anything strong- barriers in my heart. It was the simple words of the speaker that opened my eyes. "Nothing you ever do, could ever change the value you have in God. YOU, ARE A DAUGHTER OF THE KING. Nothing you do will ever make God love you more or less." You mean, I could win all the MVP awards, in every sport I play, and God wouldn't suddenly start paying more attention to my prayers? So.... with these.. zero MVP trophies... God still cares about me?? Literally, after that day, I lived a life of freedom. I saw my value in God, and nothing else. Let me tell you, ever since then, it has been nothing but growth. Sure, there have been some ups and downs, but through it all, I am still sure of my value. It won't change, like it would if it was in this world.
But hey, I'm a daughter of the King.
Nice to meet you.
