Grace and Truth

I just want to start out by apologizing for not posting these past.. 3 weeks? It's been a busy couple of weeks with outings after outings.  I also didn't really know what to write about.  Last night while I was thinking of possible topics, I remembered that I had a flash card of topics I was going to do for a YouTube channel I wanted to start a while back.  So unless there is something during each week that I want to talk about, then I am going to follow the flash card topics.

Now, for this week's topic..

Grace and Truth.

Those of you who know me on a "deeper level" know how much these two words mean to me, the change they have brought to my life.  Those of you who may not know what I'm talking about, let's rewind ALL the way back to my high school years (just kidding, it was like two years ago..). 

Setting: Christian Liberty Academy classroom, about 2:00 P.M.  
Characters: yours truly, and a teacher (who was also my best friend). 
Plot: I was having a hard time forgiving a family member after consistent dishonesty and heartbreak. 
      [Ohkay, I'm not really sure how to continue it in that format, so I'm just gonna go back to regular Vanessa conversational English.]
   So, I told my teacher the problem.  "I can't even talk to them anymore.  I'm so mad.  They have caused enough problems, and I'm sick of it. If I talk to them, I'm just gonna say stuff I shouldn't be saying or tell them off." 
    "Well, you can't ignore them.  They're your family.  And what kind of testimony would you be giving if you just ignored them?  I'm not minimizing the pain they put you and your family through, but you still have to speak to them.  Speak to them with Grace and Truth."

Grace and truth..? What's that?  He proceeded to explain how each of these two things were essential with loving people, especially those who have hurt you.  

Grace.

So this family member hurt me, right?  They deserve to be ignored, especially after time after time of hurt and heartbreak.  

But let's think about this for a second.  

When Jesus died on the cross for us, did he die for us for just that ONE time in our whole lives that we were going to hurt him?  

How about those other couple times we sinned against him?

After a few times of us breaking HIS heart, the God of the Universe, did he choose to ignore us?

Did he tell us off?

Did he appear in our rooms, ranting about how horrible we are?  How mad he is at us?

He didn't.  He died on the cross for all the sins we would ever commit against him.  

He gave us grace.  He still loves us after the daily, minute-by-minute heartbreak that we cause him.  

Truth. 

Let me get this straight, so I'm supposed to just pretend everything is fine and dandy- go on like there are no scars?? 

No, I'm not saying that either.  Neither was my teacher (I almost walked out the room when he was explaining this to me).  

The way he worded it was, "Look (insert name here), you really hurt me.  It has caused me to get bitter, but I know that's not right (thanks to Andy Mineo's 'Bitter').  I forgive you.  That is what Christ has done for me, and that's what he wants me to do. However, I will have more of a guard. Our relationship will be different.  You will have to earn your trust back."

Does that make sense? 

We forgive the people, but we don't let them walk all over us. 

Basically it's like a tough love type of thing.  

We forgive them, but we let them know that the relationship is going to be different.  

Towards the end of the conversation between me and my teacher, I asked him how did he expect me to do this.  He said, "Before you talk to them, say out loud 'Grace and Truth Vanessa, Grace and truth.'" I thought he was crazy.  The next time I saw my family member, I did.  I said it out loud, and I'm happy to say that I am no longer bitter towards them.  

(Can I just point out that as I am writing this, the sky is getting darker by the second?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!??!?!?!??!)

I hope you take this, and use it.  These two words have changed the way I deal with hurt.  I talk about this so much, I feel like i should get a tattoo of this (ha. just kidding).  I also want to point out that although I am coming along, I am not as loving, and forgiving as I should be.  I am nowhere near quick to forgive those who have hurt me. 

I'm not expecting you to either, 

I'm just here to help.    

   

The Body of Christ.

So, I was at the gym today.. ya know, going hard (if I do say so myself..).  I was walking out of the locker room.. when all of a sudden it hit me.  Not saying that I've never realized it before, but it hit me today, again.  And I can't help but just smile thinking about it.

It's amazing how God uses people, and who he decides to use.

A couple months back, I was talking to a friend.  We were just sitting on the grass, talking about life: the good, the bad, and the worst of it.  He told me what his "worst sin" was, something he had struggled with for a while.  He asked me mine, and the first thing I thought of, was of course, self-value.  He said, "Really? That's it."  It's like he knew I wasn't telling the whole truth.  I said, "Well, that's not the wooorrssstttttt thing.." "Then tell me!" he said.  "I can't tell you. It's disgusting for me to even think about it.  I can't. It's too bad."

Rewind a couple months before that.

I was sitting with the same friend, talking about life again.  I asked him to share a little bit more about his situation.  He refused, saying that he didn't want to be a burden, or a sob-story.  I told him, "Then what's the point of the body of Christ, if we can't help each other out.  We weren't meant to live this life on our own strength.  We need other people."

Now, go back to the grass. I hope you're still with me here..

"You can't tell me because you think it's too bad?  So what is the body of Christ for then, if you can't tell me?  That's what you said, right?  That we're supposed to share one another's burdens?"  After he said that, I was a bit embarrassed.  This boy just treated me with my own words! I eventually gave in, and told him.  He didn't think it was as bad as I did, because "everyone goes through that."

I am glad to write this to you today, proudly saying that after that day, I no longer struggle with that sin.  Before that day, it was always something building up inside of me, getting ready to explode.  But God used him to release me from that sin.

It's the beauty of the body of Christ, people.  It doesn't matter what you've done, how old you are, or whatever.  The body of Christ is meant to build each other up in love (1 Thessalonians 5:11).  I'm not saying I'm good at it, by any means.  The Lord knows how much I need to learn to love people.  If you've been in the car when I'm driving, you know exactly what I mean.

I think the beauty and work of the body of Christ, being a light in this world.. that's why I love what I'm doing now, working with high school students, and that's why I want to do this as a "career".  I can't imagine any other job being as fruitful as this. I want to show them who Christ is, by just being there for them.  Showing them the beauty of the body of Christ, hoping that one day, they might become a part of it too.