Are you ready for it?
Because it's really mushy.
Like REALLY mushy.
This past weekend was one of the best Valentine's Day weekends EVER.
(Ohkay, the joke can't continue. I can't think of another way to make this sound like an a "cutesy 'with the bae'" post... So, from here on out, this post will be mushy, maybe, but you'll see that it really has nothing to do with boys.)
I just came back from winter camp with my NEW JOB. This was one of those weekends, where God just confirms that I am at the right place, doing what he has called me to do. So here we go..
Friday, as I was preparing some valentines we were surprise the girls with on Saturday, one girl came to ICI just to talk with me about some stuff she's been struggling with. I got to help her think about how her actions affect everyone around her, and even tell her how they've affected me. God gave me that opportunity to speak truth to her. On the way to the camp, I just sat back and looked at all my girls, and just saw how beautiful they were- smiling, laughing, singing, joking around with each other, etc. Funny thing is, that word "beautiful" would mean so much this weekend.
It was a cold... COLD COLD day, sledding and snow selfies, hot chocolate and "1,000 miles" covers. Oh! Me and my co-counselor also surprised the girls with personalized handmade/written valentines and chocolates But at night, God did some work in me, let me tell you.
We had finished the night lesson and started the discussion groups. We split up the guys and the girls. I can't remember what the exact question was, but all of a sudden stories upon stories of heartbreak, and hurt, and horrible things were pouring out of these girls' hearts.
"I just don't think I deserve love. All the bad things I've done, I just feel like I don't deserve love."
"I just don't understand how if God is so powerful, why couldn't he stop these things from happening to me? Instead, he just let it happen."
However, there was something beautiful last night..
After the pouring out of stories, one of the girls was sitting outside on some steps (keep in mind that this was at WINTER camp, and it was about... oohh..... -15 degrees and she just had a sweater on). I went and sat next to her and told her she needed to come inside, but she didn't want to. I put my jacket around her and sat next to her. A little bit before that, she had been talking to my "co-counselor" about some stuff. "Look, I don't know what you guys talked about in there, and I know you just want everyone to leave you alone and shut up, but let me just say one thing. What you did in the group, and what you said, that was so beautiful, so beautiful."
She went on to tell me how she has been living and trying to become more like Christ on her own (she became a Christian last year at summer camp). I told her that we can barely do anything on our own, muchless the Christian life.. we can't do it on our own. I told her that she needed to find a community, but then she said she couldn't because she doesn't trust people.
As time went on, my co-counselor came out and put her jacket on me, but I gave it to the girl. She resisted, but this time was about her. I told her that she needed to pray that God would break down those walls and allow her to find community that would encourage her and build her up. I also explained to her how living the Christian life isn't done on our own strength, we moment by moment need to pray that God would give us his strength.
By this time, every sentence I said, I was shivering so much that I would bite my tongue with almost every word. I say this, not to brag, or to show off or whatever, but because I want you to be there with me. I want you to be able to imagine what that was like. It was during that conversation that I was overwhelmed with worry, yet humbled that God would want to use me in these precious girls' lives. Why did he pick me? I don't know... I feel like whenever I try to give advice or whatever, it's not as good as other leaders at ICI, so I almost shy away from opportunities like the ones I had this weekend. I know that God places me in those situations and gives me the words he wants me to say, so I need not worry about "saying the right thing/saying the wrong thing", because the Holy Spirit is the one giving me the words to say.
To my girls, if you're reading this, please never forget that God's love for you is perfect. My prayer is that he would reveal himself to you, and that you would be able to feel his embrace and love, that he would give you the PEACE THAT SURPASSES ALLLLLLLLLL UNDERSTANDING.
YOU.
ARE.
BEAUTIFUL.
Love,
