A Bit of Everything pt. 2

I haven't posted anything on here in almost a year....literally. 

So this post is to not only "update" all my followers ;) , but also to ask ya'll for prayer. 

So here it goes...

Over the past year, there have been a lot of changes in my life.  

1. I got a car! It was a surprise from my parents on Thanksgiving weekend.  It has been SUCH A HUGE HELP. ANNNDDD they got it while I was beginning my time of "interum high school program director" at ICI.. (I'll talk about that later). 
2. I got a boyfriend. He came in the mail ;).  Just kidding, obviously. 
3. I began my third year of school.. It's been rough.. BUT THE END IS IN SIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
4. I've been put in charge of the sophomore class at ICI, which is composed of 20 boys and 3 girls.. ha.. ha... *wipes sweat from forehead*.
5. I switched jobs, from Sports Authority to Starbucks.
6. OHH. I officially switched the congregation in which I meet with on Sundays, I now go to Armitage Baptist Church. 

 Ohkay... now.. where to start....

   On July 5th, 2015 (I believe), I had announced to my old church that I was going to be attending ABC.  I made the switch because I truly feel that God is calling me into ministry there, and He has grown me SO much at ABC.  Should God decide to allow me to be a full-time staff member at ICI, I would bring kids (as I have) to ABC with me, not only as their ICI leader, but as a part of the youth staff there.  

    It's been such a blast being a youth leader at ABC. I would say that I've enjoyed it more so recently than in the beginning.  I feel that the girls that I help lead in discussion groups are really becoming closer and are starting to be more specific in their answers to questions instead of being vague. 

      Before October, my parents and my (now) boyfriend.... I wouldn't necessarily say that they didn't approve of me being at ICI, or how I saw myself being on staff there, but  I guess they just.. didn't understand the ministry and how it worked.  So I invited them to the annual ICI banquet.  I PRAISE THE LORD because that was just what all of us needed.  We had all gotten into different difficult conversations about how I felt like I wasn't getting their full support and was scared that I would not have it once the time came.  After the banquet, when me and my boyfriend got in the car, he said, "Okay, I get it... I'm glad you're at ICI." Besides the fact that I cried and melted at that, I was so thankful.  During Thanksgiving, my parents were in a conversation about missions with my aunt and her kids.  My parents were going on about ICI, and what the ministry does, what my plans are, "Yeah, she's going to be a missionary through ICI." Again, I almost cried because I wasn't the one bringing it up, and the great things they were saying about the ministry. My aunt and her family got on board with ICI, it was just great.    

      A second aspect of my time at ICI is how difficult this school year has been.  There has been a lot of behavioral problems this school year, it's been nuts.  There were many nights when I would come home crying, frustrated, sad, confused, etc., etc.  I would wonder what God was doing, even if He was doing anything.  How long would God continue to allow these issues to go on? There were a couple times where I even broke down in front of the students about how I was so heart broken by their behavior.  Thankfully, today things are so different.  I feel that most of the students now, see that even through their behavior, ICI staff are different.  They'll stick with you, even during your difficult behavior, haha.  Last week, one of the boys admitted to me that he had been lying.  HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THAT?! I honestly love this group.  I think about them all day, everyday.  And praise the Lord, they know that and have started to respect me more and even listen to me more.  One boy in speicifc, I've noticed that whenever I am going in on the implications and meaning of the Gospel, there is a look on his face that he wants it.  But through his life, you see Romans 1 in the flesh, haha.  

TOPIC SWITCH

 Those of you who know me well, know that I have "endless energy", haha.  I remember my parents and leaders telling me, "Vanessa, you need to slow down.  You're going to get burnt out." "PSHHHHHH, no I won't.  I need people to have energy.  I'll get burnt out if I'm not with people!" "Vanessa, YOU REALLY NEED TO SLOW DOWN. You need to learn how to say no." "I'm not gonna say no! This thing needs me!"  

   ANNNDD....of course, they were right. As of.. basically this month.. Here I am.. officially declaring I am burnt out. 

I, Vanessa (Middle name) Alas, AM BURNT OUT. 

• Why makes me think that? 
• Here are my symptoms: drastic lack of energy, bad attitude, constantly tired even with normal amount of sleep.  Even with things that I love, like being at ICI, work, being with people.. I just don't... have the same energy. I'm just doneeeeeeee. [Important side note: please don't read this and run think, "Oh no, we need to get everyone involved and get her help."  Although you can get others to help, get others to pray for me and check up on me.  I don't need pills, or a psychiatrist.  I JUST NEED PRAYER AND SUPPORT.]  

• WHY am I tired?
• I feel like it's a couple different reasons... 
• Foundationally, I have not spent time with the Lord in months.  I can do "ministry" all day, every day- but ask me to "Be still" and read and meditate on the Word, and I'll suddenly be tired. 
• I'm REALLY, REALLY, REAALLLYY behind in my school work.. actually not really THAT behind.. but it feels like it. Not to mention i have like 2-3 weeks left, and I have to keep up with the current assignments + past due.. BRUH. And I'm at the point where, if someone tries to get me to do my homework, I get angry. 
• I'm thinking about a lot.  Whether it be my group at ICI, family stuff, my relationship, etc. It's an emotional, and now physical strain.  

Soooooo, 

pray for me y'all.